True Friends Check In: Why Support Matters When You're Sick
At URevolution, we know that being sick can feel isolating, especially when friends go silent. As a brand built on advocating for chronic illness and disability, we explore why true friends matter when you're unwell—and how to foster supportive relationships."
The Importance of Support : Being sick can be isolating, and social support plays a crucial role in emotional and physical well-being. True friends show up when it matters most.
Why Some Friends Disappear : Some people struggle with knowing how to offer support or fear saying the wrong thing, leading them to withdraw instead of reaching out.
Ways to Foster Supportive Friendships : Open communication, setting expectations, and expressing gratitude can strengthen relationships and encourage consistent support.
The Role of Advocacy : The article aligns with URevolution’s mission of advocating for people with chronic illnesses and disabilities, emphasizing the need for community and connection.
Guide To Knowing Who Your Friends Are When Your Sick
The importance of friends checking on you when you're sick
Signs of a True Friend When You’re Sick
I want to share a personal experience that many of us may have faced: friends who don't check on you when you're sick. As a woman dealing with anxiety, depression, and autoimmune disease, I understand firsthand the impact of feeling forgotten during difficult times.
In this blog post, I talk about friends who don't check on you when you're sick. I also emphasize why it is crucial for friends to stay connected and to check on their sick friends, especially when one is going through an illness. So, please grab a cup of tea and dive in!
"You know who your friends are when you're sick"
Why Do Some Friends Disappear When You're Sick?
When I became very ill, I noticed a gradual disappearance of the friendships I had built. Initially, there was a drop-off, where friends I thought were close suddenly seemed distant and unreachable. While some of these friendships were more on the periphery, a few had attended my birthday party just three months prior.
In a way, the sudden absence masked their disappearance as I clung to the hope that once I got better, everything would return to normal. Unfortunately, time passed, and my illness persisted, leading to the realization that these friendships may never return. Feeling the compatibility between chronic illness and friendships slipping away was disheartening. You know who your friends are when your sick.
The Importance of Connection with Friends
During this time, I made numerous attempts to reach out to my friends online, hoping for some form of connection. However, most of the responses I received were short-lived, leaving me feeling even lonelier. It's incredibly isolating to try reaching out to a friend only to feel like they don't care or aren't there for you. Occasionally, they would express interest in visiting but then disappear for months on end. It felt as if they had temporarily satisfied their need for connection and returned to their lives without considering that I didn't have that luxury.
Impact of Inconsistent Support From Friends
Now, let's talk about the impact of inconsistent support from friends. The friends who don't check on you when you're sick. For me, the final blow came during my twelfth year of battling chronic illness. Some friends claimed they were too busy studying to talk or visit, yet they seemed to find time for sports, parties, and other social activities. The logical excuse of proximity didn't hold up either, as I lived relatively close by and could only manage short visits. It became evident that the commitment to our friendship had diminished, and the compatibility of chronic illness and friendships became even more challenging.
"True friends when you are sick are those who stand unwaveringly beside you, providing love, assistance, and a comforting presence throughout your illness."
An Exceptional Friend That Showed Up
You know who your friends are when your sick. Amongst these experiences of losing my friends, one friend stood out—the one who went above and beyond. Although we weren't the closest in our prior friendship group, she consistently tried to stay in contact with me throughout the years. Even when I sporadically showed up at school to attend a class, she would neglect her own work to help me catch up. Her thoughtfulness extended beyond that, with random gifts and unwavering support. Our lives and interests may have changed, but her genuine care and occasional visits kept the flame of our friendship alive.
"True friendship shines brightest in the moments when friends recognize the importance of checking on you during challenging times."
We All Need Thoughtful Supportive Friends
Let's pause for a moment and reflect on the importance of friends checking up on each other, especially during illness. When you're sick, reaching out can be incredibly challenging, and nothing exacerbates the feeling of loneliness like receiving no response. Spending time together in person can be wonderful for both parties involved.
It's crucial to acknowledge the person's differences and limitations while still seeing them through the lens of the friendship you've cultivated over the years. Small acts of kindness, like bringing them gifts, making them a meal, or inviting them to events, can make them feel valued and remind them that they haven't been forgotten. And if you are pressed for time, just showing up is also a sign of being a thoughtful supportive friend.
Breaking the Cycle of Not Checking on Sick Friends
Trust me. The older you get you will find yourself in a position where a friend suddenly becomes ill or disabled. No matter what, don't hesitate to reach out to them in any way you can. The importance of friends checking on you when you're sick can never be over-estimated. Consistency here is key. In our technology-filled world, there are numerous communication avenues, such as texting, emailing, or social media. Use your smartphone to set reminders and ensure you check in regularly. And if the chronically ill or disabled person reaches out to you, try to engage in meaningful conversations.
Compassion and Empathy for your Friends
Remember, none of us are perfect. I am far from it. So it's important not to assign blame when friendship connections become strained or even break. Most friends who don't check on you when you're sick aren't doing it intentionally. Rather, they might be ignorant or unaware of the impact their actions—or lack thereof—can have.
Most do not know the importance of friends checking on you're sick. Instead of harboring resentment, let's encourage conscious, understanding, and thoughtful behavior. By fostering a more empathetic society, we can collectively support those facing chronic illness or disability and ensure fewer friendships fall through the cracks.
How Often Should You Check In on a Sick Friend?
I get it—you want know how often to check on a sick friend. Checking in on a sick friend can feel tricky and can sometimes lead to awkward conversations. You don’t want to be overbearing, but you also don’t want them to feel forgotten. The truth? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on the person, their illness, and your relationship.
For short-term illnesses, like the flu or a bad cold, a quick text or call every few days can be enough. A simple “Thinking of you—need anything?” goes a long way. But for chronic illnesses or long recoveries , true friendship means showing up consistently, not just at the start. Some days, a person with a long-term illness might feel okay. Other days, they could be struggling in ways they don’t always say out loud.
So how do you get it right? Let them lead. A good way to gauge how often to check in is to ask:
👉 “Would you like me to check in every few days, or do you prefer space?”
Some people crave daily messages; others might feel pressure to reply when they just don’t have the energy. And that’s okay. What matters most is that they know they can count on you —whether that’s through a regular text, a weekly call, or an occasional “I’m thinking about you” without expecting a response.
The best kind of friend isn’t the one who checks in perfectly , but the one who keeps showing up in ways that feel good for both of you.
"Amidst the storm of sickness, the warmth of true friendship emerges, reminding us of the profound importance of friends checking on you when you're sick."
As I reflect on my journey, I've come to accept that chronic illness and friendships can be a challenging mix. While it may be difficult for me to make new friends due to the limitations imposed by my health, I take solace in the connections I still have. And who knows, perhaps one day, I'll forge new friendships with people who see and appreciate the person I've become. But until then, let's strive to be friends who check on each other and provide comfort and support when needed.
Together, we can create a world where no one feels forgotten or alone during their darkest times. Stay kind and connected, and remember to check in on your friends, especially when they are sick.
