What are a blind person's pet peeves?

To keep my creative juices flowing during the covid-19 quarantine, I contemplated the idea of pet peeves. So, what are pet peeves? I define pet peeves as minor irritations, annoyances, things that “push your buttons” or get under your skin. I decided to focus on some of my own peeves and then to gather information from family and friends about theirs. 

While most responded with a list of their peeves, one had to have the term defined to answer and another simply could not wrap her head around it. The former asked me, What is a peeve?, to which I clarified, A pest or annoyance, to which she promptly provided a comprehensive list. The latter said she did not focus on things that separated her from others based on their differences and declined to provide an answer. 

I realize that my peeves are personal, and I take ownership of the fact that they are mine and do not require agreement from others. However, I came to understand that some of my peeves were similar to certain family and friends.

My own pet peeves as a blind person are pretty easy for me to identify. Most of them concern aspects of cleanliness or my expectations for kind and socially acceptable behavior. When I first pondered pet peeves while I was a single young adult, I read that leaving toilet seats up or down and toothpaste caps left on or off were two of the most frequent issues that couples quarreled over. 

Fortunately, those two never entered the peeve contest for me, since I usually lived with other women and even after I got married, this was never an issue with my husband. Once I began to lose my vision, I required my own tube of toothpaste, since the only way to reliably get toothpaste on my brush was to squeeze it into my mouth instead. To save Ted from my germs, we subsequently use separate tubes placed on separate vanities.

Appearing first on my peeve list, is my dislike for grimy and slimy deposits behind the handles of the stainless refrigerator doors. Accompanying this annoyance is a similar dislike for the kitchen sponge being water locked and not wrung out after use. Sponges and washcloths become my necessary tools to wipe down the granite kitchen counters at least once or twice a day to make sure that they are smooth, clean, and free of any crustiness. Along with my other peeves in the kitchen, is my desire to have the black kitchen towel for hand drying always folded in half vertically, since I think it looks better on the oven handle that way. This peeve has been with me since I could still see the patterns on the towel, but now I just feel to make sure it has been spread out or folded correctly.

Another particularly bothersome behavior to me, is my husband’s loud chewing and chomping on gum, seemingly with his mouth open. I am usually in a good place to hear these deafening sounds since I sit right next to him at our kitchen bar while we eat. Whereas most of the other clean-freak requirements that I have can be modified by me alone rather than with constant nagging, I always point out his earth shattering noises. Unfortunately, I know that they will persist —since he must eat to live and he most likely will always have a full set of strong teeth. Between us, we both enjoy a medley of crisp fruits and vegetables, so unless I move him to a soundproof booth, this tumult will continue.

I identify more significant peeves when I consider the general cleanliness of my house, my laundry, and the interior of my car. Soiled kitchen linens, bathroom towels, bed sheets and pillowcases trigger an automatic and restorative action on my part – to get the laundry done. When my adult daughters visit, each of them knows my/our expectations for keeping common areas clean and uncluttered. 

They dutifully, and I believe without resentment, wash their dishes, and load them into the dishwasher, throw their laundry into their respective hampers, and take out the garbage/compost when it is full. I am grateful that they adapt to our ways when they are in our home. They recognize it contributes to family harmony when the physical environment is in order, especially after my vision declined.

Rude, harsh, or entitled public interactions irritate me. This includes something as momentary as a driver’s dangerous move into my lane, or someone cutting in front of me in line, or a person being disrespectful to service staff. I am usually not a passive participant in these situations, and I will simply and quietly point out the bad behaviors of others if I witness someone being mistreated. While my eyes may fail to observe all the interactions around me, my ears do not miss a beat. I also find it important to know my limits and boundaries for political rants, arguments, or insensitivities. Sometimes for the larger issues I may adopt something as simple as changing the channel or TV station or limiting the timing and frequency of when I watch the news.

Since I strive to understand where my pet peeves fall in the general kingdom of peevishness, I compared my own peeves with those that I have gathered. By challenging myself to learn more about other’s pet peeves, this exercise became less of a flimsy attempt to collect data and more of a deeper understanding of what bothers my friends and family. I promised anonymity to my respondents, so there would be no judgements cast and I have included their responses in the following sections.