Reclaiming life after breast cancer

Katie, a nurse in her sixties, radiates a vibrant spirit that captivates anyone fortunate enough to meet her. Tall, spry, and wiry, she has dedicated her life to nursing and found love in her twenties while working as a dog musher in Alaska. Through my husband, I became acquainted with her extraordinary family, and over the years, they welcomed us into their tight-knit circle with open arms. Attending their family reunions, getaways, and vacations, I witnessed firsthand Katie's magnetic presence as she cooked hearty breakfasts, shared witty remarks, and held court before the stove. Thus, her breast cancer diagnosis caught everyone by surprise, as she seemed invincible.

Although cancer does not discriminate, the news of Katie's diagnosis shook us all. Gradually, as the doctors unveiled the extent of her cancer and she embarked on the grueling treatment process, we witnessed a transformation in Katie. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, she emerged as someone new, stronger, albeit with less hair, where the old Katie once stood.

Katie's battle against breast cancer proved to be an aggressive and widespread one. She faced four different types of tumors in both breasts, prompting equally aggressive treatment—a double mastectomy, radiation, and chemotherapy. As any breast cancer survivor knows, these procedures are brutal, and they left Katie utterly depleted. She had to put her career on hold, unable to continue working due to the debilitating effects of the treatments.

Seeking solace from the harsh Alaskan climate during her treatment, Katie flew down to a family property in Arizona, where she was embraced by a rotating cast of visitors, myself included. We sat by her side, offering support and care, even though she couldn't indulge in her passion for cooking. Yet, the simple act of looking at cookbooks, and envisioning recipes, provided a much-needed respite. We went on short walks together during her rare moments of respite and simply spent time together, engaging in gentle activities. Time passed, and slowly but surely, Katie began to heal.

By the time her cancer receded, Katie had undergone a personal transformation to reclaim life after breast cancer. Once a long-distance runner and an endurance athlete, she now appeared frail, wrapping a colorful headscarf around her stubbled scalp before stepping out. Yet, despite her delicate appearance, she reassured us not to underestimate her. A flicker of fire still burned within her, and she was determined to stoke it back into a roaring flame.

During Katie's illness, my now-husband and I were planning our wedding. Despite assuming that she would be too sick to attend, we extended an invitation, wanting her to know that she was included in our special day. Little did we know that Katie would bounce back from cancer treatment like a spring, embracing life with her patient husband by her side, committed to reclaiming life after breast cancer.

Just two days after her final chemotherapy session, Katie joined her family on a guided trip down the Grand Canyon. There, she effortlessly commanded attention, offering advice to the cook on how to season the potatoes.

Merely months later, she surprised my husband and me by arriving in Montana to celebrate our wedding. Although fatigued at times and taking occasional breaks, she kept up with everyone else. She savored a beer at the local brewery, treated my husband and me to dinner, and expressed genuine interest in our lives. She had grown weary of being sick and was resolute in reclaiming her rightful place in the world.

The wedding festivities came and went, and Katie stayed until the last dance. The following day, my husband and I returned to the wedding venue, ready to clean up and retrieve our belongings. To our surprise, Katie and her husband met us there, and for four hours, we sat under the sun, finishing the kegs from the previous night while catching up. Curiosity got the better of me, and I asked Katie how she felt. In her candid nature, she offered to show me her newly implanted expanders, mentioning the discomfort they caused.

Although it was an awkward moment, I assured her that if she felt comfortable, so did I. With a laugh, she lifted her shirt, revealing a raised scar that traversed horizontally across her chest, cutting through the nipple line and extending to the edges of her ribcage. The expanders, placed beneath her pectoral muscles, felt hard and high, like small balls in place of breasts. Playfully, she remarked that her chest had never been so perky, causing her sons to feel awkward when hugging her due to the prominence of her "fake boobs."

Despite the impending reconstruction and the discomfort of the expanders, Katie affirmed that her femininity remained intact. Her body had adapted, transitioning into a new phase of life. She told me that she and her husband had worked together on their sex life after cancer treatment. Despite an initial loss of libido and painful intercourse, they learned some tips and tricks to regain intimacy.

At that moment, etched forever in my memory, I witnessed the resolute acceptance in her eyes, a firm acknowledgment of her reality.

When we witness our loved ones undergoing profound changes or experiencing pain, it can be challenging to accept. However, in that frank and sunny conversation with Katie, I discovered the immense strength that lies within such transformations. We need only step aside from our own perceptions to truly see it. And yes, nurses can indeed be affected by breast cancer too.