My Emotional Support Cat is a Jerk (And That’s Okay)

If you have depression or anxiety, people might tell you to get a pet.

"You need a ray of sunshine," they'll say. "Think of the cuddles and the beauty of living with a being that will love you until the end of its days..."

Then you might get a cat because part of you wants to prove them wrong, part of you knows you’re an asshole, and another part of you just wants to look at real-life cat paws whenever you want.

But how do you teach a cat lessons you haven’t mastered yourself?

What happens when it skips outside and encounters people —just normal people, living and breathing?

You see your cat freeze in horror , then look back at you, You with the Thumbs, silently begging you to make them disappear.

"I’m sorry," you’ll say, knowing full well you are speaking to a cat. "Sometimes there will be people existing in front of whatever you’re wanting to do, but you have to try to do it anyway, because they will always be breathing out there. Don’t be afraid to give yourself breaks though."

Your cat will stare at you for a second, then slink back inside to watch the world from the window—before knocking over something you love.

One night, when your only plans are to be horizontal, your cat will decide to mess with you.

It jumps onto the counter, knowing full well it’s not allowed there, and locks eyes with you as you yell at it to get down.

Only when you stand up does it leap off, sprinting in circles as if chasing an imaginary foe.

Eventually, it remembers to eat, and you see its little heart swell with joy . It curls up at your feet and gazes at you admiringly.

"See, little love," you’ll say. "Food is a good thing."

Your cat purrs. And purrs. And purrs.

Then you make yourself your first meal of the day (probably cereal) and send apologies to your friends who put up with you when you’re hungry.

Your friends eventually come over. Your cat hides for a split second , then emerges as the center of attention , curling up in their laps and drooling with love .

Because this cat, like you, collects broken hearts and people too .

You thank your friends for ignoring the dirty dishes and the drool. They call you gross.

You laugh—because what they really mean to say is "We love you too."

Sometimes, when you’re finally being productive , your cat will tumble into your lap and wedge itself under your arm.

You push it away, trying to focus on life … and then guilt hits.

So you pull it close again , sinking into an inescapable puddle of cuddles.

Its deep purrs and soulful eyes erase all memories of its spiteful actions , just like bad exes whose cuddles made you forget the pain.

The wave of productivity crashes , but it's okay—because there’s a cat in your lap, equally clueless about love, kneading muffins into your heart .

So yes, get a cat.

Let a little jerk into your life.

You’ll sleep less , but you might also stand up, and move, or at the very least, live with a creature that has as much spite gnawing at its bones as you do.

And every time you open the front door, your cat will sprint out at full speed, stop, and be completely overwhelmed.

You will give it the space to soak up life and catch up to the world crashing into every single one of its senses —because like you, it is so goddamn sensitive.

Then… you’ll follow it out into this world you love.

Originally published in Dec 17, 2018. Updated Jan 31, 2025, to improve discoverability.

It turns out that my little furry jerk actually is helping me cope—whether he means to or not. Science backs this up.

A 2024 study by Purina found that interacting with cats triggers the release of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin —the "feel-good" hormones responsible for happiness, bonding, and stress relief . At the same time, cuddling with a cat lowers cortisol levels , the hormone linked to anxiety and stress [ Purina ].

Similarly, a 2023 report from Welia Health explains that petting a cat releases oxytocin—the "love hormone" —which fosters feelings of trust, calm, and emotional connection [ Welia Health ].

So, despite my cat’s spiteful chaos and complete disregard for personal boundaries , his purring, snuggles, and even the annoying headbutts are actually helping me regulate my emotions. Maybe—just maybe—he's not such a jerk after all.